shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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