i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
