Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My ass is underappreciated
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
