I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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