Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
