That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
