I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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