I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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