bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Boobs are out for the taking
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
