cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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