we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
