You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
