So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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