my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
