Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
