Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
