You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
