I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
