your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
