i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
