how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
