shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
