i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
