grandma shit on top of the toilet
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
