she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
