When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
