shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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