thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
