I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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