I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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