his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
