I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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