Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
