Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
