my phone needs a breathalizer
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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