Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
