Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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