so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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