I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
