thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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