This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
