Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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