On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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