Small penises have feelings too.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
