And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
