so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
