My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
