It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
