i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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