I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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