This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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