Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
