thus making me awesome and them whores
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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