Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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