She's JV to your varsity
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
