when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
